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EBW Episode 11, Part 1 +AHSS+

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Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling: Episode eleven.  All-Hardcore Supershow!

Pyro, rock music and applause burst out as Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling hits the airwaves for another week.  The camera pans around the audience before focusing on the announce table that sits at ringside.  However, instead of Konata Izumi and her Choco-Cornets, Little Washu sits there with a mug of piping hot tea, wearing the announcer's headset/microphone.

Washu: What's up?  Little Washu here welcoming you to Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling for another week, live from the EBW Arena deep in the heart of Japan.  Since Konata Izumi actually has a match later, I'll be covering for her tonight.  So you get to listen to my dulcet tones and bad jokes instead of Konata's.  Get over it.  And get into it, because the network has given us permission to not only go extra long today... hence the term 'Supershow'... but all five matches are going to be some type of Hardcore match... hence the term 'All-Hardcore'.  Put it together now... All-Hardcore Supershow!  Ya got it.  And you're about to get it, because tonight's first match directly effects our huge Pay-Per-View, "Session 13", in two weeks.

The Eiken Club, Kirika Misono and Chiharu Shinonome, make their entry first.  They're followed next by Across, Excel Excel and Hyatt Puchu.  Finally the Original Slayers, Lina Inverse and Naga, make their entrance.

Washu: Got a huge night tonight, headlined by a dangerous main event.  Tag Team Champions FLCL take on current HoJ Champion and formerly undefeated Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga ... you can thank Asuka Langley and Ukyo Kuonji for ending that... in a Handicap match.  This is going to be pretty brutal, as you can well imagine.  Plus the Hardcore Title is on the line, Konata Izumi faces the Devil Lady and just signed earlier today, Sailor Pluto takes on Ryoko.  This one has 'set-up' written all over it.  Two of Ayeka's most dangerous enemies booked suddenly in a match?  Come on.

Chiharu and Kirika look nervous as Across and the Original Slayers have a brief discussion.  Suddenly, both Excel and Hyatt extend one arm and fly at Kirika, nailing her with two Clotheslines at the same time.  Kirika goes tumbling out of the ring, and Excel and Hyatt follow her out as Lina and Naga double-team Chiharu with some nasty punches.

Washu: And this match is underway!  Across vs. Eiken Club vs. The Original Slayers in a "Winner Plays, Loser Pays" match.  The team who makes the pinfall or submission takes on FLCL at "Session 13" for the Tag Team titles.  Whoever gets pinned or submits is fired!  And the third team... they can go sit and spin.

---

The match immediately split into two handicap matches at once... a race to see who could beat their member of the Eiken Club first.  Excel and Kirika brawled up the entrance ramp, trading punches as Hyatt politely followed, carrying a chair with her.  Once on the steel entrance stage, Kirika finally got a lucky shot in, kicking Excel in the gut and doubling her over.  But before Kirika could execute a move, Hyatt threw the chair over Excel and nailed Kirika right in the face, sending her to the stage floor.

Meanwhile, Lina Inverse had rolled out of the ring and was rummaging underneath the ring while Naga the White Serpent delivered some devastating kicks to Chiharu with those amazingly long legs of hers.  Nagi grinned and showed off her legs as Lina Inverse rolled back into the ring, holding two kendo sticks.  She tossed one to Naga and motioned to Chiharu, who realized she was trapped.  Naga and Lina traded swings, every hit knocking Chiharu back to the other one, almost like a game of kendo stick Pong.

At this point, the referee realized this was essentially going to be two matches in one and made a motion towards the back.  A minute later, a second referee emerged, following Across and Kirika as the original referee followed the Original Slayers and Chiharu.

About a dozen swings later, both Lina and Naga nailed Chiharu at once, knocking her out.  Naga stood her up and sat her on top of her shoulders so that they were both facing the same way while Lina Inverse climbed to the top turnbuckle.  On the entrance stage, Hyatt coughed a cloud of red mist into Kirika's face and promptly passed out.  The staggering forced Kirika to back into Excel, who thrust her arms upwards between Kirika's arms and torso from behind and wrapped one leg around Kirika's.  Lina leapt off the turnbuckle with one arm extended, nailing Chiharu in the head and sending her spiraling in the air with the Dragon Slave.  At the exact same time, Excel fell forward, slamming Kirika's face into the chair with all her body weight with the Pedro Crash, landing Kirika's face right on the steel chair.  Hyatt woke up and pinned Kirika at the exact moment Naga pinned Chiharu, and both referees counted three-count pins at the exact same time.

---

Washu: Hm... little bit of a discrepancy here.  Eiken Club are the obvious losers, but who won?

Both referees talk to each other for a few minutes, then make their way to the announce table.  Washu is apparently filling in for Konata's job of helping with close calls and replays as well as commentary.  Excel and Hyatt roll into the ring and shake hands with the Original Slayers.  After huddling around the small television built into the announcer's desk just for replays, a referee grabs a microphone.

Referee: Both pinfalls were counted at the exact same time, by two different teams.  So the Eiken Club are obviously officially the losers of this match, and are fired as per the rules.  So the match will continue with Across and the Original Slayers facing each other.  No penalty for losing this match, but the winners will be the official #1 Contenders for the Tag Team Titles at "Session 13".

Washu: It was too close to call, everyone.  Let's keep it going!

---

Hyatt coughed out a mist of blood as soon as the bell was rung again, and collapsed unconscious.  Naga immediately started kicking Excel to keep her away as Lina rolled Hyatt up for an easy pin.

---

Washu: Well, that was painless.  Not for Big Boob Club, mind you, but it looks like the Original Slayers are on a collision course with FLCL at "Session 13".  Personally, I don't think Kirika deserved to be here from the first place, and then she just forced Chiharu to come along.  Get one last look at those breasts, guys, because tomorrow they go back on the pole.  But cheers to the Original Slayers for getting the job done.  This should be another interesting match at an already interesting Pay-Per-View.

A frustrated Kirika hauls a crying Chiharu into the crowd to leave for the last time as Naga backs off of Excel.  Naga and Lina pose and show off in the ring, celebrating their victory as Hyatt wakes up and sits up, waving hello to Excel.  Excel facepalms as the camera cuts to Chiyo-Chan's office, where Osaka sits on the couch in the back while General Manager Chiyo Mihama sits at her desk, both watching the television screen showing the show.

Osaka: I just don't understand why Asuka's gotta be so mean to me, Chiyo-Chan.  I didn't do anything to her.  In fact, I feel really bad for her, even though she did end my undefeated streak and keeps attacking me.  She had a really sad story to tell.

Chiyo: You're the Heart of Japan Champion, Osaka.  That means you're the #1 bishoujo in the business.  That's a really big target.  You've got to fight hard against all comers and have a lot of heart... you've got to have the heart of a champion!

Osaka: Heart of a champion!  Got it, Chiyo-Chan!

The door to Chiyo-Chan's office slowly opens, and Sailor Pluto pops her head in.

Chiyo: Miss Pluto!  I'm really sorry about what Ayeka did about your #1 Contendership; you won that match fair and square.  But as the General Manager, I only control the Hardcore and Tag Team divisions.  At least you'll still get a shot after "Session 13"; I did my best to make sure that happened.  Think of it as money you have stored away in the bank!

Pluto: It's alright, Miss Mihama.  And besides, that melon bread was delicious.  I'm simply looking for Ryoko.  Our match is next, and I haven't seen her.

Osaka: Nope.  Come to think of it, I haven't seen her since the Devil Lady dragged her off last week.

Pluto: Strange... and has anyone here seen Asuka Langley Soryu?

Chiyo: Asuka wasn't booked for a match tonight, so she's taking the week off to deal with some family issues.  We try not to book everyone every single week to give them time to heal up.  Why would you need to see her?

Pluto: Oh... no reason.

Pluto closes the door as Osaka sighs in relief at hearing this.  Chiyo looks at the door in confusion as the camera cuts to the backstage area.  Uranus, Neptune and Saturn are standing around as Pluto emerges from the left hallway and makes her way to the rest of the Outer Senshi.

Washu: The Outer Senshi in full effect tonight.  Painful losses to FLCL and Hell Girl last week have to still be weighing in on their minds.

Pluto: Miss Soryu is dealing with some family business tonight.

Neptune: That's a shame.  The receipt will still be perfectly good next week, though.

Uranus: That bitch isn't going to get away with assaulting the Outer Senshi.

Pluto: But that's what I was talking about in the prophecy.  If we get involved in this war, and start to assault and gang up on people, we'll be no better than Sailor Moon and the Inner Senshi were.

Saturn: But this isn't about a match, Setsuna.  She forced your involvement.  What she and Princess Ayeka did to you was unfair!  If I wasn't so weak, I could have...

Pluto: There's nothing anybody could have done.  In fact, after tonight, I think it's good that we lay low for a while.  Nobody here is booked for next week's show, and my match is up next, so I suggest we don't even come to the arena next week.  A little cooling-off period while everybody else claws and clasps at each other.  Maybe we could try out that one ice cream shop Hotaru's wanted to try.  But for now, you three go home, and...

Suddenly, Ryoko finally emerges.... she staggers out of the off-limits right hallway entrance.  She's clutching her stomach, walking on weak legs, and there's dried blood on her forehead.  She's obviously in great pain.  The Outer Senshi look at Ryoko in surprise.

Saturn: Miss Ryoko!  What happened?

Ryoko grunts as her theme music hits and she slowly staggers out of the backstage area through the entrance curtain.  The Outer Senshi look at each other in surprise, but Sailor Pluto waves them off and follows her out, making her own entrance as Neptune, Uranus and Saturn make their way back towards the Outer Senshi locker room.  The camera cuts to the arena, where Sailor Pluto is making her way to the ring and a battered Ryoko.

Washu: Wow.  Ryoko seems in seriously bad shape.  Speaking as someone who has intimate knowledge of both parties, I wouldn't put it past Ayeka to try to get a leg up on Ryoko before their match at "Session 13", and to inadvertently get Pluto to do some of her dirty work for her.  Don't get me wrong, there's no way in Heck I'm going to interfere.  Ryoko's a big girl; she can handle her own business.  And thanks to her being so stubborn, this one is still on.  Ryoko vs. Sailor Pluto, and it's Hardcore at the "All-Hardcore Supershow".

---

One last offer by Sailor Pluto to postpone the match fell on deaf ears as Ryoko demanded to fight.  The bell rang and Ryoko lunged at Pluto, swinging her fists violently and catching Pluto off guard with some nasty punches.  Ryoko grabbed her arm and tossed her into the ropes.  On the rebound, Ryoko leapt up and slammed into Pluto, knocking her to the mat and kneeling above her so that she was on top of Pluto.  Ryoko let loose with a vicious series of Ground and Pound punches before Pluto summoned the strength to toss her off of her.

Getting serious now, Pluto allowed Ryoko to run at her again.  This time, however, Ryoko was stopped with a knee to the gut.  Pluto wrapped her powerful arms around Ryoko for a minute in a nasty Bearhug before Ryoko gave her a Headbutt to force her to break the hold.  Ryoko kicked Pluto in the gut and turned around, getting ready for the Pirate Bitch Stunner.  Before she could hook her arm around Pluto's neck, however, Pluto wrapped one arm around the front of Ryoko's waist, lifted her up, turned her horizontally and slammed her back into the ground with a Sidewalk Slam.

Lifting Ryoko up, Pluto was caught by surprise and tossed into the turnbuckle.  With one last burst of energy, Ryoko ran full-speed at Pluto but was caught with an elbow to the face.  Pluto kicked the staggered Ryoko in the gut, grabbed her by her waist, flipped and pulled her up so that she was sitting on Pluto's shoulders but facing the opposite direction.  She quickly sat down, slamming Ryoko violently back-first into the mat with Pluto's finisher, the Time Bomb.  The finisher automatically set the opponent in the pinfall position, and a pin was counted, gaining Pluto a victory, albeit one tainted by Ryoko's obvious injuries.

---

Washu: Ryoko's foolish pride once again leads to her downfall.  I'd question who's behind whatever assault happened to Ryoko, partially because I don't want to end up in the same situation Konata Izumi is going to be in later tonight, but Princess Ayeka was forced into having a match with her at "Session 13", so you figure it out.

Pluto stands up and offers her hand to Ryoko to help her up.  Ryoko bats her away and rolls out of the ring, glaring at Pluto, who sighs in frustration.  The two make their respective exits as the ring crew members start hauling in entire cartloads of chairs to the ring.

Washu: Forte Stollen wanted a Chairs match for her defense against Radical Edward and Ukyo Kuonji tonight.  If it's chairs you want, then it's chairs you're gonna get.  We'll get right to it after this commercial break.

The camera cuts to the break as more chairs are hauled out.
Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling Episode 11, Part 1: All-Hardcore Supershow.

#1 Contendership Match for the Tag Team Titles: Winner Plays, Loser Pays
ACROSS (Excel Excel & Hyatt Puchu) vs. Eiken Club (Kirika Misoko & Chiharu Shinonome) vs. Original Slayers (Lina Inverse & Naga The Serpent)

Ryoko vs. Sailor Pluto
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