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EBW Episode 12, Part 2

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Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling: Episode twelve.  Hell Day!

The camera fades back in on the Outer Senshi's locker room.  The Outer Senshi have been banned from entering the arena tonight, so it's apparently being used as a meeting room for the Hardcore division.  Every single member of the Hardcore division, except for Sailor Saturn, is sitting in the locker room.  Agent Paper is getting a little shoulder massage from Ukyo Kuonji, Forte Stollen and Maya Jingu are looking through a gun catalog, Radical Edward is online with her Tomato computer with her new Hardcore title strapped around her waist, and Hell Girl is standing in a dark corner of the room, checking through something on her phone... no doubt messages from Hell Correspondence.

Konata: Looks like there's a little camaraderie in the Hardcore division, regardless of the huge Hardcore title match we had last week at the "All-Hardcore Supershow".  Imagine that.

Suddenly, General Manager Chiyo Mihama enters the locker room, getting everyone's attention.  Chiyo-Chan seems to almost be in tears, but she starts to compose herself before addressing the Hardcore division.

Chiyo: I called this brief meeting because there's something I really need to address.  First off, congrats to Edward on winning the Hardcore title last week.  And Ukyo, your new okonomiyaki cart should be ready by "Session 13".  Now... about "Session 13".  Look... I'm the general manager here.  I'm the third most powerful person in EBW, behind Princess Ayeka and... whoever is above her, nobody really knows.  I'm supposed to be in charge of the Hardcore and Tag Team divisions.  The Tag Team division is so small, it pretty much runs itself.  But I was in charge of setting up a match at "Session 13" for Edward's Hardcore title.  I originally planned a little Hardcore mini-tournament tonight, but Princess Ayeka took the entire night over to do this unfair 'Hell Day' thing.

Chiyo-Chan starts crying a bit, further drawing the Hardcore division's attention.

Chiyo: I worked my hardest, but I let everyone down.  I have no way to determine a #1 Contender for the Hardcore title next week, and there's no room to do it even if I had an idea.  And I don't just want to randomly pick someone, because that'd be unfair to everyone else.  I've been so busy fighting Princess Ayeka and trying to get her to treat the Heart of Japan division fairly, that I've let everyone down.  I'm... turning my resignation in.  I don't feel like I'm pulling my weight around here, and the ratings...

Everyone looks surprised at this announcement, except for Hell Girl, who has her usual cold blank stare.

Chiyo: But I've been thinking about it.  So next week everyone here, Sailor Saturn included, is getting a Hardcore title shot.  The entire Hardcore division is going to be in one match at "Session 13".  It's going to be a Battle Royal, but since this is a Hardcore match, it's going to be a Tables Battle Royale.  A ton of tables are going to be set up all around the ring, and you have to not only throw an opponent out of the ring, but they have to go through a table on the outside.  Now, Radical Edward is the champion, and I believe in 'champion's advantage', because beating a champion is something special.  In the HoJ and Tag divisions, the advantage is being able to retain the title on disqualification or a draw.  So the champion's advantage is that all six contenders are going to start the match.  Edward's not going to enter the ring until there are only three people left, halfway through.  Does that sound alright?

There's a general consensus between the Hardcore division as Chiyo wipes her tears with her sleeve.

Chiyo: Okay... Tables Battle Royal for the Hardcore title at "Session 13".  Ed, you better get going, your match with Osaka is next.  And I'm really sorry that I let everyone down.  Maybe your next general manager will have... you know what, Ukyo Kuonji, would it be alright if I talked to you after the show?

Ukyo: No problem, honey.

Chiyo: Thanks... now, if there won't be anything else... thank you very much for giving me this opportunity.  I am very sorry.  I wish you all the best.

Chiyo bows in respect as Edward scrambles out of the locker room.  The camera cuts to the backstage area, where Osaka is waiting for her entrance music to play, holding her back in slight pain.  Edward dances out of the left hallway and walks over to Osaka.  Osaka seems a bit defensive, but Edward whispers something in her ear, pointing at the left hallway.  Edward's theme music plays and she saunters out of the entrance curtain, making her entrance.  A tearful Chiyo walks out into the left hallway and almost gets to her office before Osaka walks back and wraps her arms around her, hugging her closely.

Osaka: You did the best you could, Chiyo-Chan... I'm gonna do the best I can, too.  Heart of a champion, Chiyo-Chan, you taught me that.  Gotta have the heart of a champion.

The camera cuts to the ring, where Edward is making her long dancing entrance, showing off her new Hardcore title.  After about a minute, Osaka's theme plays.  It takes a little while, but Osaka finally makes it out through the entrance curtain, making her way down the entrance ramp towards the ring.  Her expression is amazingly serious, and she holds her Heart of Japan title tightly.

Konata: This goes way beyond Chiyo's usual pseudo-moe.  This is genuine hurt.  You see what you're doing to your own employees, Ayeka?  Non-title Champion vs. Champion action coming your way as HoJ champion Osaka takes on Hardcore champion Radical Edward in a 'warm-up' match for the main... oh, come on!  You can't be serious!  I've just been told over my headphones that this is going to be a Hardcore match!  These girls have been through enough already!  This isn't even funny anymore.

---

Before the match, the member of the ring crew that held onto the belts for safe keeping got both champions together and talked to them, apparently telling them of the change in the rules, making this a Hardcore match.  Both Osaka and Radical Edward immediately rolled out of the ring and reached underneath the ring, fishing around.  Edward came up first, pulling out two steel chairs.  She rolled back in the ring and unfolded one char, sitting it in the middle of the ring in anticipation of the Hacker Three-Step.  Osaka emerged with a kendo stick and rolled into the ring herself.  Osaka swung wildly at Edward, who gracefully dodged every swing with a series of jumps and dances.  Eventually Edward blocked the stick with her other steel chair, the force of the two blows forcing both bishoujo to drop their weapons.

Edward ran backward, bouncing off the far ropes.  But on the rebound, Osaka stepped forward and wrapped both of her feet around one of Edward's feet.  She fell to the mat, sending Edward slamming to the mat with a Drop Toe Hold move, sending Edward's face right into the chair she had set up.

Osaka grabbed the unfolded chair in one hand and the kendo stick in the other.  She leaned over Edward and violently banged the kendo stick against the steel chair repeatedly as if she were banging on pots and pans to wake someone up!  As Edward shot up to her feet, Osaka dropped the chair and nailed Edward right in the head with the kendo stick.

Osaka dropped the kendo stick and grabbed Edward by the arm and tried to whip her into the ropes, but Edward was able to reverse it and tossed Osaka into the ropes instead.  Osaka grabbed onto the ropes so that there wouldn't be any rebound, but Edward ran forward and leapt in the air.  She extended both legs and nailed Osaka right in the head with a Dropkick, sending her tumbling out of the ring.

As Osaka regained her bearings outside the ring, Edward motioned for the Hacker Three-Step.  She bounced off of the opposite ropes, made the first jump onto the chair, made the second jump onto the ring ropes, and quickly pivoted around.  But the second she backflipped off of the ring ropes, Osaka crouched down.  And right before Radical Edward could contact with the Hacker Three-Step, Osaka pounced forward like a torpedo.  She'd nailed Radical Edward with the Sata Andagi Spear in the middle of the air, not only nailing Edward in the gut while Edward was upside-down in mid-air, but crushing her into the side of the ring!  After nailing her finisher, Osaka rolled onto Edward and the Heart of Japan champion covered the Hardcore champion for the three-count pin and the victory.

---

Konata: Serious Osaka is serious.  The great thing about the Sata Andagi Spear is that she can pull it out of nowhere, and that was the perfect time to use it.  I kind of felt it from here.

Osaka slowly gets to her feet and looks down at Edward.  She quickly thrusts one hand out.  It takes a minute for Radical Edward to realize what she's doing... she's offering a handshake.  Edward gets up and shakes Osaka's hand before taking her Hardcore title and leaping over the security railing, disappearing into the crowd.

Konata: If the purpose of this 'warm-up' thing was to demoralize everyone, it didn't work.  Major Kusanagi, Ryoko and Osaka all won their matches, but I'm pretty sure they're all pretty beaten up.

Ryoko's theme music hits as she makes her entrance, briefly followed by Major Kusanagi's entrance.  The two go over to Osaka and have a brief conversation with each other as the camera cuts to Princess Ayeka's office.  Ayeka and Asuka Langley Soryu are watching the show on the large television in the back as the Devil Lady looks through what appears to be a large catalog.  Asuka leaps off of the couch and makes her way towards the door.

Asuka: That bitch is mine.

Asuka storms out of the office, and Ayeka walks over to the Devil Lady.  A closer shot reveals that the Devil Lady is looking through a catalog for a department store chain.  She keeps staring at a couple of the pages as Ayeka regards her.

Ayeka: You enjoy that, don't you?  Being what you used to be, even for just a few minutes?  If you want it to continue, you're going to continue to follow my instructions.  It's time to go.

Ayeka grabs the catalog and tosses it to her desk.  The Devil Lady nods and follows Ayeka out of the office.  The camera pans to a close-up of a page of the catalog... on the page, the Devil Lady is modeling some workout gear.  The camera cuts back to the arena, where Ayanosuke is making her own separate entrance.  She walks down to outside the ring area, staring up at Motoko Kusanagi.

Konata: Before she became the Devil Lady, she was Jun Fudou, international supermodel.  You look at her now, apparently stuck in this Devilman form, and you can almost understand why she feels so insecure.  Something Ayeka apparently pounced right on.  Now it makes sense.

Asuka Langley Soryu and the Devil Lady make their entrance, Princess Ayeka following behind them.  The group stands next to Ayanosuke outside the ring.  Asuka almost runs into the ring, but notices something going on in the crowd.  She glares on in fury as she notices a small group of women standing behind the security barrier with the rest of the audience... Haruka Ten'ou, Michiru Kaioh, Hotaru Tomoe and Setsuna Meiou.  The Outer Senshi, all wearing civilian clothes.  Ayeka starts screaming at them about being banned from competing tonight, but Pluto holds up a set of scalped tickets, proving that they'd gone so far as to purchase tickets to the show.

Konata: Nice.  A little fun with the mind games before "Session 13". Better yet, since they're here as fans tonight and not as bishoujo, nobody can lay a finger on them as long as they don't interfere.  A fun little loophole that helps protect our fans.

As Asuka starts screaming at Pluto, Osaka rolls out of the ring, clasps both hands together, lifts them up and slams them down on Asuka's back, nailing her with a Double Axe Handle.  The Devil Lady and Ayanosuke run over and start wailing on Osaka before Ryoko and The Major roll out of the ring to make the save.  A huge brawl ensues.

Konata: It's your main event, just one week away from "Session 13".  Asuka Langley Soryu, the Devil Lady and Ayanosuke against Osaka, Ryoko and Major Kusanagi.

---

As Ayanosuke stood by and watched, the other five participants in the main event brawled on the outside right in front of the Outer Senshi.  The long-forgotten ninja took advantage of Asuka shoving Major Kusanagi back and stepped behind her.  She wrapped one arm around the front of The Major's neck and put her in a basic assassin-like Choke Hold.  Major Kusanagi flailed about and reached behind her, trying to grab Ayanosuke, but the ninja kept up with every movement and twist of The Major, and soon Kusanagi's energy started ebbing.

The larger brawl on the outside soon broke up into two brawls... Ryoko tried her hardest to trade blows with the Devil Lady, but the raw unbridled strength of Jun Fudou put Ryoko Habuki at a disadvantage.  A disadvantage Ryoko tried to compensate for by punching the Devil Lady in the gut and kneeing her in the face.  Even that didn't drop the Devil Lady, who violently grabbed Ryoko by the chest and by the waist.  She lifted Ryoko over her head with a Gorilla Press and turned around, hurling Ryoko like a rag doll.  She ended up flying into the crowd, the Outer Senshi barely getting out of the way in time as Ryoko ended up landing on the hard concrete floor.

As the Devil Lady and Ryoko brawled into the crowd and Ayanosuke choked out Major Kusanagi, Asuka Langley Soryu and Osaka brawled on the outside.  Regardless of the match and the beating earlier that night, Osaka seemed to still have a lot of fight in her.  But her body was still beaten up, and Asuka took every advantage, violently kicking Osaka in the side.  The two eventually made their way over to Konata's announce table.  Asuka grabbed one of Konata's energy drinks, taking a long swig.  She spit the drink in a mist right in Osaka's face, and while she was wiping her face, she crashed the can right into Osaka's forehead.

By now, Ryoko and the Devil Lady had disappeared into the crowd, and there was no sign of them.  Ayanosuke had completely choked Major Kusanagi out, and she laid unconscious at the bottom of the entrance ramp.  The ninja looked down and instead of following Ayeka's instructions to destroy Osaka, the long forgotten ninja simply walked up the entrance ramp and through the entrance curtain, disappearing backstage.  But the second she disappeared through the curtain, Chiyo-Chan ran in, scampering down the entrance ramp!

Asuka kept pummeling Osaka with fist after fist, eventually dragging her onto Konata's commentary table.  Konata grabbed her Choco-Cornets and energy drinks and scrambled away as Chiyo-Chan finally made her way to the announce table.  Asuka punched Osaka in the gut, doubled her over, and thrust both arms up between Osaka's arms and her torso.  She locked both hands together behind Osaka's back, setting up for the devastating ALS DDT.  But Chiyo-Chan grabbed a Choco-Cornet and tossed it, hitting the back of Asuka's head.

The pastry hitting Asuka in the back of the head didn't harm her, but it did distract her enough to make her let go of Osaka.  As she reached up behind her head and felt the chocolate goop, Osaka struck.  Osaka punched Asuka in the gut, doubled her over, grabbed her by the waist with both hands and pulled upwards.  She sat down as she pulled, pulling Asuka's body up and putting her head in between Osaka's legs, driving Asuka's skull into the announce table.  The table shattered as Osaka put Ayeka through it with a classic Piledriver!

By now, the referee had absolutely no chance of getting anybody in the ring to actually start the match, and called the bell.  This match was thrown out with prejudice.

---

Konata: Looks like Hell Day is over.  And the one who suffered the most is our... I hate to say it, our former General Manager Chiyo Mihama.  We're gonna miss you, Chiyo-Chan.  And if nothing else, you can be happy knowing you finally lit that fire underneath Osaka's butt.

Osaka slowly gets up and walks over to a crying Chiyo-Chan, hugging her tightly.  Chiyo gives Osaka some instructions, apparently, as Osaka walks over to the ring crew member holding her belt.  As she grabs her Heart of Japan title, she stares over at Sailor Pluto for several seconds, who's still standing at ringside with the rest of the Outer Senshi.  Pluto waves hello as Osaka walks over to an unconscious Asuka and, as a furious Ayeka watches from the entrance stage, raises her Heart of Japan title in the air by one strap in a classic wrestling pose.

Konata: That's all for this week on Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling.  Tune in next week for our biggest Pay-Per-View yet, "Session 13".  It was gonna be epic before, but now... wow.  Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga.  Asuka Langley Soryu.  The Heart of Japan is on the line, as is the heart of EBW.  Does it belong to Princess Ayeka, or to the bishoujo who put their lives on the line every night?  Only one way to find out.  We'll see you next week, at "Session 13"!

Osaka holds up the belt with a tear in her eye as the show fades to black.
Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling: Episode 12, Part 2

"Hell Day"
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majingojira's avatar
Chiyo-Chan!!! NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Interesting developments. The Pay-Per-View will be quite interesting...