EBW Episode 13, Part 2 +PPV+

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Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling: Episode thirteen.

Pay-Per-View Special: Session 13!

The camera fades in on, amazingly for the first time, the roof.  The long-forgotten ninja, Ayanosuke, looks out onto Japan from behind the five-foot tall metal security fence surrounding the entire gargantuan flat rooftop area.

Konata: Welcome back to Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling presents "Session 13".  We found out earlier today that the ideological battle between Ayanosuke and Major Kusanagi for the future of the security of Japan is going to be a submission match.  You've gotta read the newsletter if you want to keep abreast of things.

Ayanosuke turns around suddenly as the doorway to the roof from the loading dock opens, and Major Kusanagi emerges, a referee following behind her.  The Major makes her way to the lighted helipad on the roof, and Ayanosuke follows suit, tossing her cloak aside.

Ayanosuke: Any particular reason you wanted to do this here, Motoko?

The Major: I'll admit, over the last few weeks, you may have gotten the jump on me.  But there's a difference between superior technique and a sneak attack.  You've been talking about the techniques and abilities of the ninja flying in the face of technology as a way to keep Japan safe.  I figured this would be the best medium for you to show off those tactics.  No weapons, no outside interference, no trickery... although trickery does play a major part in what you do, doesn't it?

Ayanosuke: Very well... but let's not pretend that this is going to end everything.  Over these past few weeks, you've proven about yourself what I'd already assumed.  That you're a strong-willed person, who can't easily be swayed.  And again, I bring up that it's almost like looking in a mirror.  I'm sure the conversations will continue long after one of us has tapped out.

The Major: In the end, this spirited debate may be what's best for Japan.  But for now, I'm just interested in handing you a receipt for last week.

Ayanosuke: I guess I should at least be proud that I was able to rile up emotions within someone as cool, calm and collected as Motoko Kusanagi.  Very well.

Both Ayanosuke and Major Kusanagi circle the large circle of the helipad, keeping an eye on each other as the referee raises and lowers her arms to signify the start of the match.

Konata: The ideological battle between old and new Japan leads to a rooftop Submission match.  The only way the match can end is by submission or knock out.

---

Ayanosuke and Major Kusanagi stared each other down for a minute before Ayanosuke made the first move, dashing at The Major.  She leapt into the air, leaned to the side and spun around, trying to nail Major Kusanagi first thing with her finisher, the Sakon Whirlwind Kick.  The Major ducked down and Ayanosuke went sailing over her, and as soon as the ninja landed on her feet, Motoko leapt onto Ayanosuke's back.  She slid one arm around the front of Ayanosuke's neck and one upwards between her arm and torso, trying to immediately lock in the Section 9 Stretch.  But before she could lock her hands together, Ayanosuke bent down and hurled The Major off of her with a Judo Throw, slamming her to the cold, hard concrete of the rooftop helipad.

The Major slowly got to her knees, but Ayanosuke immediately ran forward and stepped up, spun one knee around and nailed The Major in the head with a nasty Shining Wizard kick.  The ninja took the stunned agent and laid her on her back, sat down near her head, extended her legs, and wrapped her thighs around Kusanagi's neck.  She put as much pressure as she could in trying to suffocate The Major with her legs around her neck, but Kusanagi still had some energy left.  She twisted around, twisting Ayanosuke with her, and in one swift motion, arched back and flopped backwards onto her back, slamming Ayanosuke's back into the concrete and forcing her to break the hold.

Now that Major Kusanagi was in control, she got back up and rolled Ayanosuke onto her stomach.  She knelt down over her facing the opposite way, grabbed both of Ayanosuke's legs, crossed them, and pulled them up hard, wrenching Ayanosuke in a painful Sharpshooter.  Ayanosuke had just enough energy, however, to straighten her legs out and sent the Major flying forward, slamming her face into the concrete.

Ayanosuke got to her unsteady feet and walked forward, but The Major stuck her legs out, wrapping her ankles around Ayanosuke's ankle.  She tripped Ayanosuke and slammed her face-first into the concrete helipad with a Drop Toe Hold.  Not wanting to waste the opportunity, Major Kusanagi leapt onto Ayanosuke's back, wrapped one arm around the front of her neck, the other arm upwards between Ayanosuke's arm and torso, clasped her hands together and wrapped her legs around Ayanosuke's legs.  She pulled hard, wrenching Ayanosuke's body with the Section 9 Stretch.  Ayanosuke was unconscious, and utterly defenseless against The Major's finishing hold.  The referee made sure Ayanosuke was unconscious by grabbing her limp hand, lifting it up a foot, and letting it drop.  After three times, she called for an end to the match.  Major Kusanagi had won by submission, although Ayanosuke never actually tapped out.

But Major Kusanagi refused to let go of the hold.  She kept in, a look of anger starting to creep onto her face.  The referee tried to pry Kusanagi off of Ayanosuke, but The Major kept the hold tight.  The referee quickly ran to the rooftop exit that led down to the loading dock and shouted.  In response, a small swarm of ring crew emerged, following the referee.  The Major was certainly doing serious injury now by keeping that hold applied, and the referee demanded that she let go.  But Major Kusanagi kept pulling and stretching the unconscious long-forgotten ninja... and in the end, the referee had no choice but to reverse her decision, and instead awarded the victory to Ayanosuke via disqualification for The Major's refusing to listen to the referee!

---

Konata: Major Kusanagi literally had this thing won.  She was literally the winner.  But if you refuse to listen to the referee, that's what happens.  Ayanosuke isn't even awake, and she gets a big victory in her first Pay-Per-View match.

It takes the whole swarm of ring crew and the referee to finally pry The Major off of Ayanosuke.  A couple of EMTs emerge to check on the ninja as Major Kusanagi brushes the ring crew off.

Major: Nobody is going to deny how much I want to defend my country, or defend the sanctity of Japan's technological future.  I suggest you crawl back to the village you came from.  Next time, you're not even going to see it coming.

The Major walks off towards the rooftop exit as the camera cuts to Konata Izumi sitting at her ringside announce table.  She takes a big bite of her Choco-Cornet and faces the camera.

Konata: Looks like the Lithium Flower needs to take some lithium herself.  A more aggressive Major Kusanagi can't be good news for the rest of the HoJ roster.  But here's an announcement everyone can enjoy.  After "Session 13", we'll be taking a break for a month or so to let everyone rest up for the second season, and to give our staff a break.  It's hard putting out a quality show every week.  But we're going to have a special show just for our fans.  It's called "EBW Gaiden: Wild and Young".  Anyone who's familiar with the concept of... you know that one wrestling show where rookie wrestlers team up with professionals and go through a series of wacky challenges?  Well, next week, we're going to start our own little month-long experiment called "EBW Gaiden: Wild and Young". Eight rookie bishoujo team up with eight professionals, go through a series of challenges, and whoever comes out the winner gets a guaranteed title shot for whatever division they decide to go into.  It's gonna run five or six weeks or so, and as soon as it's over, we'll get right back to Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling... probably.  I mean, a lot of things can happen to a small upstart wrestling company in a month... in all honesty, what happens to EBW has always been up to the fans.  Your support keeps us going, and if there are no fans to support us, we might as well just shrivel up and die, right?

A look of surprise comes over Konata's face.

Konata: I just heard over my headset that the police are here.  Are we really that rowdy?

The camera cuts to the outdoor employee parking lot.  New G.M. Ukyo Kuonji is there, watching as a large group of policewomen are trying to shove one woman in the back of their police car.  It's Sailor Uranus... they finally get Uranus into the back of the car and close it as Neptune looks on in tears.  The police car drives away as Neptune hopelessly starts running after it.  In the back of the parking lot, Samejima Mamimi and Haruhara Haruko can be seen sitting on the Vespa.

Mamimi: I had to do it, chief.  Last time they were in the ring, the big one hit the smaller one.  And it happened again tonight.  There's no excuse for domestic abuse, chief.

Haruko: What the hell do you mean?  She was obviously... oh, wait... yeah, I get what you're saying.  That's another team down.  Well, let's get going.  We've got a title to defend.

Haruko puts the Vespa in gear and the two drive into the building via the parking garage entrance.  Ukyo Kuonji looks from the crying Neptune to where FLCL were sitting, and a look of anger crosses her face.  The camera cuts back to the arena, where Ukyo's okonomiyaki cart is still sitting on the entrance stage across from the giant metal barbed-wire '13'.  Lina Inverse and Naga, the Original Slayers, are making their entrance, posing for their fans all the way down.

Konata: Now that's a dirty rotten trick.  Domestic abuse isn't something to be toyed with, lesbian or not.  Just so Haruko and Mamimi can cut down on the competition for their titles.

After a minute, FLCL make their entrance, driving the Vespa down the entrance ramp and to the ring.  Haruko and Mamimi jump off, hand their titles to a member of the ring crew outside, and roll into the ring.  They stare down Lina and Naga, who stare down right back.

Konata: Tag team titles are on the line!

---

Lina and Mamimi grudgingly broke up and went to their respective ring aprons as Nagi and Haruko began the match.  Naga took one look at Haruko's smaller chest and went into her trademark laugh.  A big mistake, as it was a huge opening for Haruko to lay into the White Serpent with a series of punches.  She tossed Naga into the ropes, but upon rebound Naga whipped one long leg out and nailed Haruko in the face with a Spinning Kick.  Naga followed up quickly by bouncing off the ropes again and landed right on Haruko with an extended leg with a Leg Drop attack.  A couple of stomps later and Naga tagged in Lina.  As soon as she got into the ring, Lina grabbed Haruko by the hair and pulled her up, but Haruko replied with a thumb across Lina's eyes.  Haruko bounced off the ropes and leapt up, nailing Lina in the face with a Flying Forearm, and giving Haruko just enough time to tag in Mamimi.

Lina showed her anger at the dirty trick by grabbing Mamimi by the arm the second she got in and whipping her into the ropes.  On the rebound, Lina leapt into the air and extended both legs, sending Mamimi flipping over with a Dropkick that sent her reeling.  Mamimi was able to get to her knees, but Lina hooked her arm around the back of Mamimi's neck and pulled her back, slamming her face into the mat with a classic DDT.  Lina walked over to her corner as she tagged Naga back in, but Lina didn't go right back to her corner.  Instead, as Mamimi got to her feet, Naga laughed at Haruko once again.  Haruko ran into the ring and ran at Naga, and Mamimi ran at Lina.  At the exact same time, both of the Original Slayers leapt in the air and nailed both of their opponents with simultaneous Dropkicks!

Naga motioned to the turnbuckle, and Lina nodded as she leapt to the top of it.  Haruko rolled out of the ring and reached underneath the ring for something as Naga slipped underneath Mamimi and stood up, sitting Mamimi on her shoulders so the two were facing the same direction.  The set-up for the devastating Dragon Slave finisher.  But Haruko pulled out a chair from under the ring and tossed it to Mamimi.  Mamimi barely caught it, and as soon as Lina leapt off of the turnbuckle, Mamimi nailed her in the head with the chair, sending her flopping to the mat.  A shocked Naga let go and Mamimi landed on her feet behind her, following up by flattening Naga with the chair as well.  The referee immediately called for the bell as Haruko rolled into the ring, now holding her guitar.

---

Konata: Looks like there's no shortage on dirty tricks today.  For those who aren't too sure, because it's different in some federations, you aren't allowed to win a title by disqualification.  So yeah, the Original Slayers won the match... but FLCL are still the champions.

The referee takes the Tag Team belts from the ring crew who tossed them into the ring, and grudgingly hands them to FLCL, who celebrate as if they'd actually won the match, instead of losing it intentionally by DQ so they could keep their titles.  Lina is out cold, but Naga slowly gets to her feet, clutching her head... FLCL drop their belts as Haruko grabs Naga's arm and tosses her into the ropes.   On the rebound, Haruko wraps her arms around Naga's waist and throws her upwards.  Mamimi jumps up, wraps her arm around the front of Naga's neck in mid-air, and the two both slam Naga to the ground at the same time with the Atomsk Drop.  The two grab their belts and laugh... until Ukyo Kuonji's theme music plays, and the new General Manager storms out of the entrance curtain and stands by her cart on the entrance stage, holding a microphone.

Konata: Looks like Ukyo's not happy.  After the way that ended, I wouldn't be either.

Ukyo: I've only been General Manager for a night, darlings, and already you're starting to seriously tick me off.  Well, I don't care about what kind of dirty tricks Chiyo Mihama let you get away with.  This ends tonight.  Now... next week, EBW starts a little month-and-a-half break while we let everyone rest and recuperate, let our creative juices have more time to flow, and while we showcase some up-and-coming talent with "EBW Gaiden: Wild and Young".  But as soon as we come back, as long as our fans follow us back, I'm going to sign the main event for the first night back.  Episode 14 of Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling will be headlined with a Tag Team Title match.  You'll be taking on the Original Slayers, who you screwed over tonight, Uranus & Neptune, who you tried to screw over in the parking lot with this fake domestic abuse claim, and Across, who won the #1 Contendership fair and square.  And just to make sure this doesn't happen again, in this upcoming Fatal Four Way match, the titles CAN change hands on a Disqualification.  Rest up, girls... because as soon as "EBW Gaiden: Wild and Young" is over, sugar, it's time to see if you really deserve those belts you've been hoarding.  Now if you'll excuse me, since the last two matches tonight are in the HoJ division, my duties as General Manager are over... but there's absolutely no way I'm going to miss this action.  Goodnight, honey.

Ukyo grins as Mamimi and Haruko grab their belts and roll out of the ring, hopping onto the Vespa.  Haruko looks furious, but Mamimi just holds both of their belts as FLCL drive off up the entrance ramp.  The camera cuts to Princess Ayeka's office, where the Ayeka Administration... Princess Ayeka, Asuka Langley Soryu and the Devil Lady... watch the proceedings on the large television sat amongst the Jurian artifacts.

Konata: Looks like Ukyo's gonna be more aggressive and proactive than Chiyo-Chan was.  Which might be good, it'll keep Ayeka's feet to the fire.  Business is seriously starting to pick up.

Ayeka: You know, I'd actually thought about bringing FLCL into my Administration.  They're dominant, but seem to choke a bit often.  That's the real reason I put them against Osaka in that handicap match at the All-Hardcore Supershow, before that Azumanga Daioh reunion took place.  Dreadful.

Devil Lady: Let's get this over with.  Our match is next.

The Devil Lady makes her way to the door, but Ayeka gets up and stands between her and the door, looking up at the former supermodel turned beast woman.

Ayeka: Remember your place, Miss Fudou.  And remember who got you those modeling contracts, which put that body back in magazines all across the country.  The person who made you back into the supermodel you were before the Beast Gene was unlocked in you permanently.  It's time you paid me back for getting that small sliver of your life back.  And it starts right now.  Not only do I want you to annihilate Ryoko for me, but make sure that when it's all over, that I get the pinfall.  Got it?

Grudgingly, the Devil Lady nods as she follows Ayeka out.  The camera zooms in on Asuka Langley Soryu, who's clutching a small plushie of Osaka by its neck.

Asuka: Die with me, Osaka...

Konata: Time for a break, we'll be right back... wow, it's gotta be kinda scary in her head.

Asuka strangles the doll harder, eventually ripping its head off, as the camera cuts to a break.