EBW Forever Night Two, Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or series.

Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling: Episode twenty-six.

The Final Pay-Per-View: EBW Forever: Night Two!

The camera fades in on the top floor of the old parking garage, the one thing that the old EBW Arena had that the Sunshine Arena in America didn't.  Ryoko leans against one of the concrete pillars, slinging a cloth shopping bag full of several bottles of sake over her shoulder.  She's looking up at the stars, her expression a combination of intensity and deep thought.  She looks over as the elevator dings to life, and Osaka emerges, holding several large books and pieces of paper.

Osaka: Oh!  There you are, Miss Ryoko!  It's good I found you, I...

Ryoko raises one hand to silence Osaka, looking back up at the sky.

Ryoko: I'm going to give you some advice.  I suggest you get back in that elevator.  Last week, the first night of EBW Forever, I had no problem chatting it up with you.  But tonight's the night we settle the score.  It's the night we finally find out which of us is better after being kept apart for so long. I'm psyching myself up as we speak, because I know it's going to be intense.  So no friendship tonight.  Tonight, you're my rival, and I'm going to break you in half.

Osaka: Oh... well, I gotta go study anyways.  Chiyo-Chan gave me a few books to check out with some new wrestling moves, and I gotta go study anyways.  I tried to study all week, but you know, I was never really too good at studying.  I just wanted to wish ya good luck.  May the best bishoujo win!

Ryoko: Don't worry... I intend to.

Osaka looks at Ryoko in confusion, but still bows deeply.  Ryoko glances over at her, staying still for the longest time before nodding her head.  Osaka toddles back over to the elevator, disappearing inside as Ryoko grabs a bottle of sake from her pack, pulling out the cork as she looks back up at the stars.

Ryoko: It's hot as hell tonight...

Ryoko takes a long chug of her sake as the camera cuts to the ring area.  The arena is packed beyond capacity.  Massive waves of pyro, blaring rock music and deafening roars of applause kick in as the final night of EBW's final Pay-Per-View is on the air.  But instead of kicking off with commentary by Konata Izumi as usual, Konata's standing in the middle of the ring with a microphone.

Konata: Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the second and final night of EBW Forever, live from the EBW Arena in Hokkaido, Japan.  Tonight, everything we do becomes everything we've done.  We've got a packed card... Hell Correspondence takes on Team Saturn in an Ultimate Jeopardy match for the soul of EBW, where the one who's pinned or submitted suffers a terrible fate.  Sailor Moon defends the Full Moon title along with the rest of the Inner Senshi against Lina Inverse.  And in the main event... Osaka and Ryoko, one on one, enough said!  Now, there was also supposed to be a Hardcore match between Princess Ayeka and Ukyo Kuonji.  But last week, we found out that Those Who Decide Such Things were Queen Beryl, Miss Sakaki and Ayeka's own sister, Sasami.  Ayeka was supposed to wrestle Ukyo tonight so that Ukyo could finally try and get revenge on Princess Ayeka for all the manipulation and torment she's brought upon EBW as owner.  But tonight, minutes before we were supposed to go live, we found out Princess Ayeka has locked herself in her office and has refused to come out for the match, which was supposed to kick the night off.  So if you guys will just bear with us...

Konata bows deeply as she tosses the microphone out of the ring and runs out herself, taking her seat at her announce table and sliding her headset on.  The camera cuts to the right hallway, where Ukyo Kuonji has parked her okonomiyaki cart right in front of Princess Ayeka's door.  Four bishoujo sit there, munching down on hot, fresh okonomiyaki... Milly Thompson, Hardcore trophy holder, Excel Excel, Best of the Rest trophy holder, and Puchiko and Haruhara Haruko, Tag Team trophy holders due to last week's split decision.  Ukyo is scraping and cleaning off her grill with an angry expression.  A referee silently stands in the hallway, prepared for whenever the match began.

Ukyo: Don't worry about it, sweethearts.  It's the least I could do after the four of you helped put on one heck of a show last week.  Now if we could only kick this off... you know what?  If she's not gonna come out, I'm just gonna have to come in after her.  Help me out, girls.

Ukyo pulls the giant spatula off of her back and places the business end vertically in the crack of Ayeka's office door like some sort of giant shoehorn.  Silly Milly offers to help, and she and Ukyo start pulling while Puchiko counts down their efforts to sync them up.

Konata: Come hell or high water, we're getting Hardcore tonight.  You'd almost wonder if Ryoko wanted to get herself a part of this, but she's probably busy psyching herself up for tonight's main event.

As Excel watches the effort, Haruko's phone starts ringing.  She pulls it out and flips it on.

Haruko: Huh?  What do you want?  You're... aren't you in there?  You're willing to pay what?!  Are you serious?  You'd better not be screwing me over, or you're... you say you have the cash on hand?  Do you always carry that much cash around?  Oh, you do.  Well, in that case...

Haruko closes her phone and puts it away, walking over the short distance to the backstage area and grabbing a steel chair.  She hurriedly runs back into the hallway and nails Ukyo right in the head with it!

Konata: What the heck?  Just who was Haruko on the phone with?  And now this?

Haruko keeps pummeling Ukyo as Excel runs over, Milly and Puchiko stepping back surprised.

Excel: Holy teacakes!  What the heck has gotten into you?

Haruko: Princess Ayeka just called me.  She said that whoever beats the Fooly Cooly out of the pizza bitch hard enough that she can get a quick pin gets a million yen in cash!

Excel's eyes open up wide as she starts helping Haruko pummel the hell out of Ukyo.  Milly and Puchiko step in and shove them off of the former General Manager, but by then the damage has already been done, and Ukyo is lying on the ground with blood trickling from her forehead.  The door to Ayeka's office opens and Ayeka calmly steps out, looking down at Ukyo with a sickening grin.

Ayeka: Excellent job, girls.  I've wired the money to your personal bank accounts, directly from the Jurian treasury.  Now, if you'll excuse me... time to end this.

Konata: No... she's a lying, deceitful manipulator right up to the end...

Ayeka walks over as Excel and Haruko brawl with Milly and Puchiko, and places one foot on Ukyo's chest, cackling loudly.  But before the referee can count the pinfall, Haruka Gracia runs into the scene, her titanic lunar bust entering about a second before the rest of her as she grabs the referee's hand, stopping her count.

Haruka: No.  Not tonight.  I won't let you get away with this, tonight of all nights.  Do you know why Those Who Decide Such Things aren't here tonight, Ayeka?  Because Sasami, your little sister, the one you violently assaulted last week, can't stand to see her big sister get hurt.  She almost cancelled the match herself, until Miss Sakaki and Queen Beryl overrode her.  So it falls on me to see you get what you deserve.  In my capacity as owner, I'm officially changing this match from a singles Hardcore match to a three-on-three match.  Excel, Haruko, if you're so obsessed with money, you can work for it as you take on Ukyo Kuonji, Milly Thompson and Puchiko.  Begin!

---

Milly was the first to awaken from this shocking turn of events and she immediately extended both arms outwards, leaping over Ukyo's bloodied body and clocking both Haruko and Excel with a Double Clothesline, flattening both of them to the concrete ground.  As Milly checked on Ukyo, a dazed Haruko and Excel slowly got to their feet, conferring with Ayeka on what to do.  Tiny Puchiko hurriedly climbed onto the top of Ukyo's okonomiyaki cart, onto the wooden 'roof' and not the grill itself, and turned away from the group.  Sensing what Puchiko was about to do, Ayeka hurriedly shoved both Haruko and Excel forward.  Puchiko leapt off of the cart, backflipping with a classic Moonsault that slammed into both Haruko and Excel, sending them both back to the concrete as Ayeka turned tail and ran.

As Ayeka hurried down the right hallway, a bloodied Ukyo grabbed onto her cart, driving around Haruko and Excel in the small amount of space she had, leaving them behind.  In the loading dock, Ayeka looked around nervously, apparently trying to get to the employee parking lot beyond.  Milly and Puchiko, however, had caught up with her, so in desperation, Ayeka looked around for a weapon... setting her sights on a lead pipe.  As Puchiko ran away from the two of them, Ayeka clocked Milly upside the head... but the Hardcore trophy holder was made of tougher stuff, and only fell to one knee instead of fully falling down.  A couple more swings, however, sent the gentle giant down and gave Ayeka another chance to run.  But as Ayeka again turned to try to leave, she noticed Puchiko had used a ladder to climb on top of one of the semis full of merchandise.  To her shock, Puchiko leapt off of the top of the semi, dropping a Flying Elbow that crashed right into Ayeka, sending her down to the concrete in a move that would have been devastating for Puchiko had it not connected.

By now Ukyo had gotten to the loading dock, checking briefly on Milly Thompson as a dizzy Puchiko got to her feet.  Haruko, however, raced past Ukyo and started brawling with her fellow Tag Team trophy co-holder, leaving a furious Ukyo to start making her way over towards Ayeka.  Haruka Gracia was gone by now, but the referee followed the group as Excel emerged.  Excel started brawling with Ukyo, Milly completely incapacitated by that lead pipe and Haruko brawling with Puchiko, leaving Ayeka to run out into the employee parking lot.

Puchiko soon got the upper hand with Haruko as she turned away and somersaulted backwards in place, cracking Haruko in the face with a Pele Kick that sent her to the concrete.  Ukyo also got a brief reprieve as one of Excel's punches missed, giving Ukyo the opening to grab her by the back of the head and slam her face right into the heated grill face!  After cooking Excel's face for a few seconds, Ukyo instructed Puchiko to help wake up Milly, who was slowly starting to stir, blood trickling from her forehead, as Ukyo abandoned her cart and ran out into the parking lot.

As soon as Ukyo was in the middle of the parking lot, however, she caught a glimpse of Ayeka getting in the back of her limousine.  She hurriedly ran after it, wielding her giant metal spatula, but was too late... or would have been too late, if a second limo hadn't emerged, completely blocking the exit to the parking lot!  Ayeka's limo stopped, and as Ukyo struggled to catch up, she rolled down the window and started screaming at the second limo... before hurriedly closing the window again as Ukyo assaulted her limo with the spatula.

Meanwhile, back in the loading dock, Haruko had gotten to her feet, screaming at Excel to come up with something.  With a heavy sigh, Excel held her face and walked off, Haruhara Haruko having alienated yet another partner.  As Haruko stared off in shock, Puchiko again climbed onto the top of the okonomiyaki cart as Milly grabbed Haruko and lifted her up, setting her horizontally on her shoulders as if she were using her to lift for squats.  She quickly dropped Haruko face-down as Puchiko leapt off of the cart, and Milly thrust one knee up into Haruko's face at the same second that Puchiko's elbow slammed into the back of her skull.  Haruko, abandoned for the final time, found her head cracked between Milly's Double Dollar Stungun and Puchiko's Flying Elbow.  As Haruko flopped to the ground, Milly hurriedly covered her for the pin... only to realize that the referee had followed Ayeka and Ukyo.

Back in the parking lot, the referee watched as Ukyo tried to break the windows of Ayeka's limo with her spatula.  But everybody was shocked, referee included, when a long-forgotten figure emerged from the back of Ayeka's limo... Eva Heinemann, former owner of EBW, got out and ran over to Ukyo, stumbling as if she were drunk, holding a bottle of wine.  She shattered it over Ukyo's head, sending her face-first into one of the doors and forcing her to drop the spatula.  As she grinned sadistically, Ayeka finally exited the limo.  She started to go over to the second limo, but Eva stopped her by yelling about sending her the million yen bounty on Ukyo, the same bounty she'd given Excel and Haruko... Ayeka sighed as she pulled out a smart phone, working on it for a few minutes.  She walked over to Eva and showed her the smart phone, apparently showing her that the bank transfer had taken place.  Eva grinned, and the two former owners of EBW started stomping violently on Ukyo before Milly and Puchiko emerged.

Ayeka stood above the bloodied Ukyo, grabbing the spatula and holding the business end at her neck, apparently threatening to choke her to death.  Milly and Puchiko backed off, but the driver of the second limo, the one blocking Ayeka's escape, emerged... it was Osaka's classmate and the original General Manager, tiny little Chiyo Mihama!  And not only that, but she was armed... with a super soaker water gun!  She hurriedly pumped the super soaker and sprayed, spraying Ayeka's back with water.  Of course it did no damage, but it distracted Ayeka enough that she let go of the spatula.

Eva started turning away to face Chiyo, but Milly Thompson dropped to her hands and knees as tiny Puchiko ran forward, jumping onto Milly's back and leaping in the air, wrapping her legs around Eva's head and pulling her down with a Hurrikenrana.  This gave Chiyo-Chan enough time to lock herself in the second limo and let the bloody Ukyo get to her feet.  Ayeka gasped as Ukyo lifted one hand, jamming her fingers into the flesh between Ayeka's teeth and lip, pinching off the nerves.  Several seconds of this pinching and Ayeka was slowly brought to her feet, passing out unconscious due to Ukyo's old submission finisher, the Bad Taste.  With nobody else to hide behind, Ayeka finally fell unconscious, losing to Ukyo, Milly and Puchiko as Ukyo forced herself to break the hold to lock in a pinfall.

---

Ukyo stands up, hugging both Milly and Puchiko before turning to face Chiyo-Chan.  Chiyo quickly points the super soaker at Ukyo and fires, spraying water on her face to help take care of some of the blood.  As Chiyo runs out of water, Eva Heinemann hurriedly ducks back in the limo, locking herself in.

Ukyo: I'm sorry I disappointed you, Chiyo-Chan... you handpicked me to be General Manager...

Chiyo: Nonsense!  You fought hard and gave it your all, I'm very proud of you!  Thank you, Ukyo-Sempai!

Konata: That match was way more than I bargained for.  The Trophy winners make their mark, but in the end, Ayeka ran out of people to manipulate and when push came to shove, she was exposed.  Ukyo gets some measure of revenge... but Eva Heinemann showing up?  And tiny little Chiyo-Chan saving the day?  Throw in Haruka Gracia's appearance at the beginning and that's all the current and former management team of Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling in one convenient place.  We'll be right back... the next match is for the Full Moon title.  While Sailor Moon won't have Ayeka to save her tonight, she'll still have the rest of the Inner Senshi with her.  Five-on-One for the Full Moon title next!

Chiyo-Chan toddles over and gives Ukyo a big hug, and Milly and Puchiko shake hands as EMTs come out to check on Ayeka and Haruko, and the show cuts to a break.