EBW Episode 17, Part 1 +PPV+

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or series.

Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling: Episode seventeen.

Pay-Per-View: Cage of Blood!

The camera fades in on one of the locker rooms and the Outer Senshi: Hardcore Champion Sailor Pluto, Tag Team Champions Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune, and Heart of Japan Champion Sailor Saturn.  The four are in full Senshi gear, wearing their respective belts.  All have their eyes closed, and their hands are joined in a circle.

Pluto: We are the Outer Senshi... we may not have always been, but we will always be.  Our great trials and tribulations will come to a head tonight, and although we might fight alone, our hearts will always fight as one.  Love, friendship, determination and the power to bare our souls to the world through our craft, be it wrestling, or fighting evil.  That is what makes the Outer Senshi different.

Neptune: The strength of our hearts, and of our greater mission, flows through our bodies and gives us the strength to carry on through all opponents.  Even if we don't always win, we always come through ahead, as we take what we've learned and become stronger for it.

Uranus: Though we don't need each other's help to succeed, it's always good for the heart to have everyone together.  There's no point in kicking someone's ass if you don't have someone to share it with at the end of the day.  Well... the belts are nice, too.

Saturn: As one who is so young and simple, I do not know what to call it... the force that brought four wayward souls together as one.  Is it fate, is it luck, or is it God?  Whatever or whomever is responsible, we pray for your guidance as the Outer Senshi fight tonight as one.  May the planets align tonight, and may the rings of Saturn keep and hold us as close as we are right now.  For this, we pray.

The four stand still, holding hands as the camera cuts to the arena itself.  The official start to the Pay-Per-View kicks off.  Rock music, tons of pyro and peels of applause ring out as the camera pans around the arena.  The entrance stage is decorated, as it's decorated for every Pay-Per-View.  This time, there are large steel gates laid all around.  A titanic, monstrous steel dome can be seen hanging twenty feet above the ring.  The camera focuses on it before panning over to Konata Izumi at her announce desk.

Konata: What's up, people?  I'm Konata Izumi, happy to be hardcore here tonight at Cage of Blood.  This EBW's fourth Pay-Per-View, and the first one from our temporary home in the Rising Sunshine arena deep in the heart of Florida.  Quick rundown of the card... we kick off tonight with #1 Contendership of the Tag Team titles, as Di Gi Charat take on the Original Slayers, with the winners to take on champions Uranus and Neptune later tonight.  After that, a Newcomers Showcase, with two brand new tag teams including the long-awaited premiere of Panty & Stocking, in G.M. Ukyo's efforts to revitalize the Tag division.  The Hardcore titles are on the line as well, as Sailor Pluto takes on fellow giants Forte Stollen, Milly Thompson and Undine in a Clash of the Titans.  Then, of course, our two marquee matches.

The super-cute foursome Di Gi Charat emerges, making their entrance.  Dejiko, Puchiko, Piyoko and Rabi-En-Rose all scamper down to the ring, posing and showing off.  After a little bit of discussion, it's apparently decided that Piyoko and Rabi-En-Rose will wrestle tonight for the team.

Konata: First, Asuka Langley Soryu, the Devil Lady and FLCL have aligned themselves as the Alliance of Hell, dedicated to destroying everything in their path.  But Ryoko's hand-picked EBW Gaiden participants Sana Kurata and Mitsune 'Kitsune' Konno, as well as Asuka's former partner, Rei Ayanami, to go against them.  And the main event... man, the main event gives me chills.

As Dejiko and Puchiko take their place outside the ring, the Original Slayers make their entrance.  Lina Inverse and Naga pose and taunt for the crowd before making their way into the ring, staring down Piyoko and Rabi-En-Rose.  After a bit of discussion, it's decided that Piyoko and Rabi-En-Rose will start the match, the Chamber of Elimination looming above them in the rafters.

Konata: Sailor Saturn defends the Heart of Japan title against Hell Girl, Lain Iwakura, Major Kusanagi, Osaka and Rena Ryuuguu in the Chamber of Elimination, a brutal structure indeed.  But let's kick things off right here with a shot at Uranus and Neptune's Tag Team titles later tonight on the line!

---

As Naga and Piyoko started the match, the Tag Team Champions themselves, Uranus and Neptune, made an entrance.  The two lovers made their way down to the ringside area, taking a seat at Konata's announce table and keeping a close eye on the action.  Naga started with a wicked kick, using her insanely long legs to her advantage, but Piyoko was quick enough to not only grab Naga's leg, but spun around, twisting her to the ground with a Dragon Screw.  As Naga was on the mat, Piyoko quickly took advantage and ran, bounced off of the opposite ropes, did a forward roll and leapt right into Naga with a Rolling Thunder, smashing onto Naga with all her body weight... which, admittedly, wasn't much.

After a couple of kicks to the ribs, Piyoko tagged in Rabi-En-Rose.  The largest member of Di Gi Charat, which again wasn't saying much, waited to move until Naga was on her feet.  As Naga got her bearings, Rabi-En-Rose leapt to the top rope and bounced off, extending both legs and nailing Naga with a Missile Dropkick that sent her right back to the mat.  She grabbed Naga by the hair and sat her up, and bounced off of the opposite ropes before sliding across the ground, nailing Naga in the head with a Baseball Slide.

Lina Inverse by now was furiously screaming at a battered Naga to tag out.  Rabi-En-Rose quickly tagged in Piyoko again, but then the rabbit girl climbed and stood on the top turnbuckle.  The panda girl followed suit, but then carefully climbed on top of Rabi-En-Rose as well.  As soon as a dizzy Naga made it back to her feet, Piyoko leapt off of Rabi-En-Rose who was standing on the top turnbuckle, leapt onto Naga, wrapped her legs around Naga's neck in the air, and pulled her down to the mat, landing on top of her with an amazing Hurrikenrana with some extreme height!

As Piyoko rolled Naga up for the pin, Lina ran into the ring to break up the pin.  But as soon as she was in the ring, Rabi-En-Rose leapt off of the top turnbuckle, slamming into Lina with a Body Splash, giving Piyoko enough time to win the match and the #1 Contendership for Di Gi Charat.

---

Konata: Man, that's what I call a hot opener.  It's kinda hard to stay mad at Di Gi Charat with all those high-flying moves... that, and the whole cuteness thing.  But don't be fooled, they're dangerous.  And they're gonna take on the Tag Team champions here later on tonight.

Piyoko and Rabi-En-Rose celebrate in the ring as Dejiko and Puchiko each ask for microphones on the outside.  A member of the ring crew hands them to them as they focus on Sailor Neptune and Sailor Uranus, sitting without headsets at Konata's announce table.  A furious Lina gets to her feet and drags an unconscious Naga out of the ring, screaming at her as she helps haul her up the entrance ramp and through the curtain.

Dejiko: Well, look who came out smelling like a rose, nyo.  Looks like Usada and Piyoko aren't totally useless after all, nyo.  But it looks like me and my best friend Puchiko are totally rested and ready to take those Tag Team titles from around your waists, nyo.  How about we go ahead and get it over with right here, right now, nyo?  So you won't have to spend all night waiting in fear of the spectacular supergroup, Di Gi Charat, nyo.  Let's go ahead and write destiny, nyo!

Uranus and Neptune look at each other with a grin and stand up, taking their Tag Team titles and start to leave.  Being ignored completely infuriates Dejiko, but Puchiko looks on as she and Dejiko climb into the ring itself, Rabi-En-Rose and Piyoko watching on from the outside.

Puchiko: Are ya gonna go beat your girlfriend again, nyu?

Uranus and Neptune make it half-way up the entrance ramp before Petit Charat makes that statement.  A look of fury washes over Uranus' face and she immediately bolts for the ring, a nervous Neptune following behind her.  The two lovers enter the ring as Uranus glares down at Dejiko and Puchiko.  The referee tosses the microphone and the Tag Team titles outside of the ring to a member of the ring crew.

Konata: Puchiko doesn't speak much, but when she does, she gets right to the heart of the matter.  Dejiko, on the other hand, can't shut up.  The belts are on the line as the fresh half of Di Gi Charat take on Uranus and Neptune in the first of the Outer Senshi's three title defenses!

---

Uranus and Puchiko were picked to start the match, as Dejiko and Neptune were forced to wait for a tag on the apron.  Uranus immediately leapt forward and extended one arm out, trying to nail Puchiko in the head with a Clothesline.  But Puchiko, as short as she was, barely needed to duck down to get under the clothesline.  Uranus' momentum forced her to bounce off the ropes, and on the rebound, Puchiko drove her elbow right into Uranus' gut.  It staggered Uranus, but didn't knock her down, allowing Uranus to recover and kick Puchiko right in the face, making her flop to the mat.  An angry Uranus tagged in her partner and lover Neptune as Puchiko crawled over to her corner, tagging in Dejiko.

Unbeknownst to the Sailors, Rabi-En-Rose and Piyoko were setting up a wooden folding table on the outside, standing it right behind the spot on the ring apron where the Outer Senshi made their tags.  Neptune climbed in the ring, and was immediately met with a rake to the eyes by Dejiko.  The referee threatened to disqualify Dejiko if she did something so blatantly illegal again, and Dejiko responded by getting behind Neptune, wrapping her arm around the back of Neptune's neck and leaping forward, slamming Neptune's face into the mat with a Bulldog.  Dejiko immediately got up and ran against the ring ropes, hoping onto the middle one and backflipping off of it, nailing Neptune with a Lionsault.  She grabbed Neptune by the hair, trying to stand her back up, but Neptune got her bearings and nailed Dejiko in the face with her knee.  She quickly tripped a stunned Dejiko, forcing her to fall on her stomach, and sat on top of her, facing the opposite direction.  She grabbed one of Dejiko's legs and yanked hard, trying to wrench her leg off with a Single Crab hold.

After wrenching Dejiko's leg for a bit, Neptune got up and decided to tag her lover in with a deep kiss.  Uranus blushed at this, but otherwise didn't miss a step as Neptune got back into the tag position on the apron.  She kicked Dejiko in the ribs a couple of times and grinned as she patted her forearm, signaling for a devastating Clothesline.  Dejiko stood up and Uranus leapt at her, but Dejiko was rather short as well, and was able to duck the Clothesline.  But this time, Uranus' momentum forced her to slam into her lover Neptune on the ring apron, forcing her to fly off... and crash right through the table the inactive members of Di Gi Charat had set up on the outside.

Uranus looked outside the ring, horrified at what she'd done, her lover laying in the wreckage of the table on the outside.  That's when Puchiko ran into the ring and kicked Uranus in the back of the knee, forcing her fall forward, her upper body hanging on the middle rope.  As Dejiko leapt to the top rope, Puchiko ran, bounced off of the far ropes, ran to the near ropes, jumped up while grabbing the top rope, and swiveled her hips so her legs hit Uranus right in the face, sending her flying back into the ring.  A strange kick-like attack called the Puchiko Twist, a move that she practiced 619 times in a row to get just right.  The move left Uranus lying in front of Dejiko's turnbuckle, as Dejiko immediately turned to face away, and sat down.  Her legs hit the top ropes, but her rear end was still in the air, forcing her to twist and spin downwards right into Uranus with the Dejiko Moonsault, a move that always meant a starship of pain.  With Neptune unconscious on the outside and Uranus having just taken two finishers in a row herself, Dejiko climbed on top of Uranus and got the three-count and the Tag Team titles.

---

Konata: The numbers game proves to be too much.  Di Gi Charat are our new Tag Team champions.  But is it Puchiko and Dejiko that are the champs, or all four?  The Freebird Rule isn't totally clear on that.  But my real concern is Uranus... first accidentally hitting Neptune with a clothesline and now this.  The night starts off badly for the Outer Senshi.

Dejiko rolls Uranus out of the ring as a member of the ring crew tosses the Tag Team belts into the ring.  Dejiko and Puchiko take them and celebrate as Rabi-En-Rose and Piyoko roll in, joining the party night.  Uranus slowly gets to her feet on the outside, taking the unconscious Neptune in her arms like a baby and carrying her up the ramp, tears in her eyes.  Suddenly, G.M. Ukyo Kuonji emerges from the entrance ramp, running over to Uranus, microphone in hand.  Uranus doesn't even pretend she sees Ukyo as she simply walks past, carrying Neptune out of the ring area through the curtain.  An angry Ukyo glares down at the ring from the entrance ramp.

Ukyo: This has gone far enough, darlin'.  Thanks to your little games, you've broken a woman's heart.   Dejiko, pick one person... only one person... to be Tag Team Champion with you.  The other two are fired.  This supergroup nonsense isn't gonna fly anymore; I'm putting my foot down.  Now I've gotta see if I can fix this mess you've made.

Ukyo storms back through the entrance curtain as the four members of Di Gi Charat look at each other.  A member of the ring crew hands Dejiko a microphone from the outside.

Dejiko: Well, this is gonna be the easiest decision I ever made, nyo.  There's no way I'm gonna be stuck with some rabbit skank like Usada, nyo.  And Piyoko's a stab in the back just waiting to happen, nyo.  Besides, Puchiko's my best friend, nyo.  So, you know what to do, Puchiko, nyo?

Dejiko tosses the microphone down as Puchiko nods.  At the exact same time, Dejiko nails Rabi-En-Rose in the face with one of the Tag Team belts, and Puchiko nails Piyoko in the face with the other one.

Konata: Well, that was quick.  But even though the numbers game isn't on their side anymore, it still looks like Dejiko and Puchiko are gonna be a big problem in the Tag Team division.  We wanted the belts off of FLCL, and look who has them now...

Dejiko and Puchiko celebrate in the ring as the camera cuts to the outdoor employee parking lot in the rear of the building.  Uranus gently lays Neptune down in the back seat of her cherry-red convertible as Ukyo runs over to her, panting and out of breath.

Ukyo: Uranus, please don't let this be what I think it is, darlin'.  What about Saturn and Pluto?

Uranus: We've betrayed them before.  They'll get over it.

Ukyo: There's not a single, solitary woman in that locker room that really thinks you meant to hurt her.  We all know how much you love each other.

Uranus simply climbs into the driver's seat as Saturn and Pluto emerge in the outdoor employee parking lot themselves.

Saturn: Haruka... you and Michiru... you're not coming back, are you?

Pluto: What about the promise we made each other?

Uranus: The only promise I intend to keep is to make sure nobody hurts Michiru ever again.  Nobody.

Uranus peels out of the parking lot, the shimmering red convertible sports car disappearing into the night.  Ukyo sighs as Saturn cries, Pluto hugging her to comfort her.

Konata: I... don't know what to say.  We'll be back to Cage of Blood after this break...

As Pluto consoles Saturn, the camera pans over to the very far end of the lot... where a yellow Vespa sits.  Samejima Mamimi stands next to it, practicing her swings with a red baseball bat as Haruko sits on the Vespa, watching the proceedings through her binoculars.  She looks on with a sickening chuckle as the cameras fade to the first break of the night.