EBW Episode 24, Part 1

Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters or series.

Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling: Episode twenty-four.  The Red Thread!

The camera fades in on the office of the undisputed owner of EBW, the busty Haruka Gracia.  She's sitting behind her desk in a modest office covered with sports memorabilia and various different types of sports shoes.  She leans forward a bit, making her lunar bust wobble.

Haruka: Good evening.  As you may have heard if you caught every last second of EBW last night, Princess Ayeka's final act as owner of Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling was to name the stipulation of Lina Inverse's title match at EBW Forever, making it a five-on-one handicap match against the entire Inner Senshi.  Sadly, this is set in stone, as it's very difficult, under the rules that Those Who Decide Such Things have laid down, to change what a previous owner did.  But tonight, I'm more interested in focusing on this doomsday cult that's permeated EBW, the Hell Correspondence America.  And so that we can concentrate on such things, such pressing matters, I have officially banned the Inner Senshi from the building tonight.  Now... let's see if we can finally get down to business without such...

Haruka looks up as someone enters her office.  The camera peels back to reveal it's Utena Tenjou, holding the Hardcore title.  The expression on her face is very pained as she unfurls the belt and lays it on Haruka's desk.

Utena: Miss Gracia... I cannot continue to be the Hardcore champion if it means cheating to win.  I swear on my honor as a Rose Duelist that I had no idea Anthy cheated to help me win.  This belt is meaningless because I let it become meaningless.  Miss Gracia, I'm sorry... but I'm forfeiting the Hardcore title.

Utena bows and walks out of the office, as Haruka Gracia stares on in disbelief.  She sighs and looks down at the Hardcore title on her desk as the camera cuts to the ring area.  Pyro, rock music and applause ring out throughout the crowd.

Konata: What a way to kick off the show.  It's Extreme Bishoujo Wrestling for another week, live in our temporary home, the Rising Sunshine Arena in the heart of Florida.  And two major announcements to kick off the night... the Inner Senshi are banned from the building tonight, and the Hardcore Title has been vacated!  It's certainly going to be a night of action and excitement as we count down to the final episode, EBW Forever, in two weeks.  And what a main event was announced last week... Osaka vs. Ryoko.  No belts, no blood, just wrestling.  Like it should be.

Milly Thompson makes her entrance, applauding and shaking hands with her fans as she walks down to the ring.  She reaches underneath the ring, fishing around for weapons, but is shocked when she sees who her opponent is... the long-gone Agent Paper.  Agent Paper shakes hands with fans herself and makes her way over to a surprised Silly Milly.

Konata: Whoa... when they instated the hiring freeze, they said any former member of EBW was welcome to come back.  But how long has it been since we've seen the first-ever Hardcore Champion, Agent Paper?  It was all the way back at Session 13, months ago, when she was in that Tables Battle Royal for the Hardcore Title.  And remember who won that?  Milly Thompson.  Full circle much?

---

Silly Milly and Agent Paper shook hands, but only briefly, as both immediately went underneath the ring to look for weapons.  Agent Paper, true to form, pulled out a dictionary of all things.  Before Milly could finish pulling out the table from underneath the ring, Paper whacked her in the back of the head with the dictionary.  It took a few shots to take the huge Milly down, but eventually she was lying on her stomach on the ground outside the ring.  Paper thumbed through a few pages of the dictionary before tossing it aside, pulling up the table Milly had gotten and set it up on the outside.  She reached over to grab Milly to roll her onto the table, but Milly got back to her feet, cracking Paper in the head with a Big Boot kick.

Milly once again reached underneath the ring, pulling out a standard steel chair.  Drawing a mental blank, Milly simply whacked the downed Paper in the back with it before reaching down underneath the ring again.  This time she pulled out a large aluminum trash can, complete with lid.  Agent Paper slowly got to her feet, and instead of dropping the trash can on her, Milly held it at chest level and ran at Paper with it.  Suddenly, however, Agent Paper slipped to the side, letting Milly run past her.  She turned to face the same direction as Milly, grabbed the back of her head and leapt forward, pulling Milly to the ground with a Bulldog attack that slammed her upper body into the trash can she was holding.

Not wanting to waste any time, Agent Paper quickly got back to her feet and sat on Milly's back, facing the opposite direction.  She grabbed both legs, one in each arm, and wrenched them both back with a Double Leg Crab, wrenching Milly's legs and knees.  Milly cried out for a bit, then desperately reached out for something to help break the hold.  She grabbed the lid of the trash can and threw it behind her, luckily hitting Paper right in the head and forcing her to break the hold.

Milly got to her feet, reaching over to a dazed Paper.  She grabbed her by the neck with one hand and the waist with the other, lifting her horizontal to the ground and setting her on her shoulders, setting her up for the Double Dollar Stungun.  Paper, at the last second however, wriggled out of the move and landed on her feet in front of Milly, with the table behind Milly.  Paper kicked Milly hard in the gut, doubling her over.  Paper thrust her arms upwards between Milly's torso and each other arms, locking her fingers behind Milly's back to set up for the Printing Press.  With one last burst of strength, however, Milly stood up, lifting Paper up and sending her flying above and behind her, crashing through the table behind Milly and knocking her out!  Not wanting to miss another opportunity Milly again grabbed Paper, set her on her shoulders and dropped her forward, lifting up one knee and cracking Paper in the face with the Double Dollar Stungun.  One quick pinfall later and Milly was victorious.

---

Konata: A great outing from two of our Hardcore bishoujo.  But I kinda wonder what the point is gonna be now that there's no Hardcore title.  And no Heart of Japan.  But at least the Tag Team titles are on the line tonight, as Di Gi Charat takes on Di Gi Charat... yeah, you heard me.

Milly helps Paper to her feet, and the two shake hands.  The referee raises Milly's hand in victory as the camera cuts to the lobby, where the vendors are working hard even as the show is going on, and there's a few scattered televisions showing the show going on.  Ayumu "Osaka" Kasuga is standing at one of the vendors; apparently trying to decide what flavor shaved ice she wants.

Konata: In two weeks, Osaka and Ryoko, probably our two biggest stars, are gonna go head-to-head.  They've only fought once, a long time ago, and that match went to a count-out.

The camera pans across a bit to show Ryoko, grabbing a bottle of sake and throwing her money down on the counter.  She takes a long swig before looking to her side.  She walks over to Osaka, standing next to her.  Osaka, however, seems blissfully oblivious.  Eventually the vendor just hands Osaka plain shaved ice, no flavoring, and Osaka takes it, confused.  She turns over to Ryoko and smiles.

Osaka: Hiya, Ryoko!  You're not here to jump me, are you?

Ryoko: I kinda was, but you turned around.  So screw it.  Seriously though, I've kinda been wondering.  Of all the people in EBW, you wanted to fight me?  Hell, if anyone's been making your life miserable, it's Asuka Langley Soryu, although she's part of that new doomsday cult.

Osaka: Well... after seeing how good we've both been doing in EBW, I was kinda wondering what would happen if we faced off again, and this time, nobody interfered or messed with anything.  So I actually got Miss Gracia to agree to this special stipulation...

Ryoko: What?  You changed the match stip and didn't even have the guts to tell me?  You little...

Osaka: I'm sorry!  I just heard about this federation in American that's based on honor.  They had a special code of honor in the ring, and I thought that's what you would want too.  Nobody interfering, nobody messing with the match, no cheating, just one on one fair wrestling, shaking hands and stuff.  You weren't planning on cheating or anything, were ya?

Ryoko mulls this over in her head before taking another swig of her sake.  Ryoko shrugs her shoulders and walks off as Osaka licks her cup of plain ice.  The camera cuts to the backstage area, where little Dejiko and tiny Puchiko are shining up their Tag Team title belts and adjusting their outfits.

Konata: A code of conduct?  Honor of the ring?  Oh, I get it, she's talking about... wait, I can't say the name.  Heck, we almost got sued over the Cage of Elimination.

Dejiko: Puchiko, your sacrifice of your shot at the Full Moon Title just to concentrate on being in Di Gi Charat has lit a fire in Dejiko's little heart, nyo!  Dejiko has been a bad little girl for a while now, nyo.  But because of the example you've set, Dejiko promises she'll work hard from now on just like she was working at Gamers, nyo!  Di Gi Charat comes first now and forever, nyo!

Puchiko: Helping a friend become the best they can be warms your heart like good miso soup, nyu.

Suddenly, owner Haruka Gracia emerges from the right hallway, stopping and looking over at the girls.  As she walks over to Puchiko and Dejiko, Rabi-En-Rose and Piyoko emerge from the left hallway and, seeing Di Gi Charat, immediately hide in preparation for something.

Haruka: Oh, good.  You're all ready.  I wanted to talk to you about this Singularity thing Princess Ayeka set in motion before she was fired.  Apparently, next week, we're going to have one match that will merge all the titles, so that the only title that will be defended at the Pay-Per-View in two weeks is the Full Moon Title.  It's disgraceful, I know, but it's one last fair chance to knock Sailor Moon off of the top of the mountain before EBW Forever.  Now... since Utena forfeited the Hardcore title and the Heart of Japan has been deactivated, that leaves the Tag Team titles to merge into the Full Moon title.  So whoever scores the actual pinfall or submission in your Tag Team title match gets a shot at Sailor Moon's Full Moon title next week, one week before EBW Forever, and the other member of the team... will, I'm sure they'll get a little something special.  You got all that?

Dejiko: A Full Moon title shot on free TV, nyo?  A chance to be in the main event at our final Pay-Per-View, nyo?  Dejiko is all over that, nyo!  Puchiko, you better not get the damn pinfall in this one, nyo.  You already threw away your shot at the belt, nyo.  Dejiko's gonna go out on top as soon as she gets rid of these stinky Tag Team titles, nyo.  It's Dejiko's time, nyo!

Dejiko hurriedly runs off the second Di Gi Charat's theme music is played.  Puchiko just sighs.

Puchiko: Puchiko's miso soup has gotten all cold, nyu.

Haruka looks on in confusion as Puchiko makes her entrance, leaving the backstage arena.  As soon as they're gone, Rabi-En-Rose and Piyoko leap out from behind a box, landing right where Di Gi Charat was standing a second ago.  They look around confused as Haruka Gracia facepalms.  The camera cuts to the ring area, where Puchiko and Dejiko are waiting in the ring.  Seconds later, Rabi-En-Rose and Piyoko make their entrances as well and make a beeline for the ring.

Konata: That's a huge jerk.  Oh, and a huge announcement.  Thanks to Singularity next week, this match is essentially for the #1 Contendership of the Full Moon Title next week, and that means a shot at going in as champion at EBW Forever!  A lot more on the line tonight than just the Tag Team titles.

---

After breaking up the initial brawl, the referee splits up the two teams, arbitrarily choosing Dejiko and Rabi-En-Rose to start off.  The two bitter rivals started up by trading chops to the chest, but eventually Rabi-En-Rose's strength advantage gave her the upper hand, and she grabbed Dejiko by the wrist, whipping her into the ropes.  On the rebound, Rabi-En-Rose leapt forward, smashing Dejiko in the face with her forearm with a Flying Forearm attack.  Rabi-En-Rose quickly leapt onto the top turnbuckle, looking down at Dejiko.  Rabi-En-Rose stumbled a bit, however, giving Dejiko enough time to recover and get to her feet.  By the time Usada was steady, Dejiko had run over to the turnbuckle and climbed it, standing chest-to-chest with Rabi-En-Rose.  Dejiko punched her rival in the chest, doubling her over, wrapped one arm around the back of her neck and fell all the way backwards to the mat, smashing Rabi-En-Rose's face into the mat with a Top Rope DDT.

Getting to her feet, Dejiko quickly tagged in Puchiko, but warned again that she wanted to be the one who got the pinfall.  Puchiko sighed and leapt onto the top rope, flying off of it in a Body Splash aimed for Rabi-En-Rose's prone body... but Usada sat up at the last second, forcing Puchiko to eat a face full of mat.  Usada hurriedly tagged in Piyoko, and the leader of the Black Gemagema Dan rolled into the ring, seemingly still angry about losing the Undefeated Battle Royal a couple of weeks ago to Puchiko.  She ran at the prone Puchiko, rolled forward a full 360 degrees and leapt up, slamming into Puchiko with a Rolling Thunder attack.

Not wasting any time, Piyoko grabbed Puchiko by the hair and stood her up, chopping her in the chest a couple of times.  She whipped Puchiko into the ropes and on the rebound, leapt into the air with a karate kick.  Puchiko rolled under her, however, and Piyoko ended up landing on her rear end.  Puchiko rebounded again, standing behind the sitting Piyoko, and thrusted each of her arms between Piyoko's arms and torso, locking her hands behind Piyoko's head.  She leapt forward, flipping over while still locking her arms and fingers, and landed so that  her feet were in front of Piyoko's sitting form and she was arched back, her bizarre position wrenching Piyoko's arms and head violently in the strange submission known as the Cattle Mutilation!

Rabi-En-Rose ran into the ring to break up the submission, but Dejiko was in there quicker, heading her off.  She leapt into the air, wrapping her legs around Usada's head and thrust herself backwards, dragging Rabi-En-Rose to the ground with a Head Scissors Takedown!  But after more wrenching by Puchiko and it seemed Piyoko was about to tap out, Dejiko pulled her own partner off of Piyoko, angrily reminding her that she wanted the pin and the shot the Full Moon title next week.  Puchiko toddled over to her corner and Dejiko officially tagged herself in... but the second Dejiko was the legal member of Di Gi Charat, Puchiko actually leapt off the ring apron and started crying, which was actually something rare for her.

Not wanting to miss her opportunity, Dejiko dragged the pained Piyoko over to the foot of the turnbuckle, leapt up to the turnbuckle facing away and quickly sat down.  Her legs bounced on the top rope, but her rear end was in the air, forcing to her spin and twirl all the way onto Piyoko's body with the Gamers Moonsault.  Rabi-En-Rose sat up just in time to see Dejiko get the pinfall and successfully defend the Tag Team titles for the final time.

---

Konata: Well, looks like Dejiko's getting that shot at the Full Moon title next week... at least Puchiko can take comfort in the fact that she's still undefeated.

Dejiko gets to her feet and grins, posing for the crowd.  A member of the ring crew outside starts to toss the Tag Team titles into the ring, but Puchiko leaps up and plucks them out of the air.  She grabs a microphone as well, looking into the ring as Rabi-En-Rose and Piyoko leave through the crowd.

Puchiko: Puchiko gave up everything for Dejiko, and you hurt Puchiko, nyu.  Money and fame are all you understand, nyu.  That's why you got kicked off of planet Di Gi Charat, nyu.  But I still followed you, because I thought we were friends, nyu.  There's only one way that I know of to make you know how sad I feel now, nyu.  There will be no Singularity next week, because there will be no Tag Team titles to merge into the Full Moon title, nyu.  I, Puchiko, on behalf of Di Gi Charat, hereby forfeit the Tag Team titles because I feel I can no longer defend them with the heart that it deserves, nyu.

Dejiko screams in anger as she rolls out of the ring.  She stares down Puchiko as the tiny one tosses the microphone away, throwing the Tag Team titles to the ground.  Dejiko raises her hand up to slap Puchiko, but as Puchiko flinches, Dejiko freezes.  She stares up at her upraised arm in shock, seemingly just realizing she was going to hit her best friend.

Konata: Wow... just wow.  We need to take a break... when we get back, it'll be time to take care of the Hell Correspondence America situation with Hell Girl, Asuka Langley Soryu and Panty & Stocking.

Dejiko walks up the ramp in a daze as Puchiko watches, wiping her tears as the camera fades to a break.